I was at a conference of 1,200 Jewish people with a curriculum of lectures, concerts and various other venues on anything Jewish (ie: arts, history, politics, religion) going nonstop from 8am till 1am. At any given moment every hour or so from 8am to 1am you had 15 things to choose from. You had to fit in your meals in the cafeteria whenever you could make the time. Cost of the 5 day conference with room and board was close to $500 plus airfare which for me was $650 including almost $100 in taxes. If it weren't Christmas, one could fly from the US to the UK for about $300 roundtrip and I believe that the British pay about the same as we do for airfare and telephone calls between our countries (about 10-15 cents a minute). Things I learned: Abraham was in the gold business; he went to Egypt to show the king and the people how to make gold. "Cholent" (name of a stew people eat on the sabbath) comes from the medieval French for slow heat. One rabbi said one should join the denomination he feels most ashamed of. Joke: Did you hear there are guards at the Lubavitcher Rabbi's grave in case of assassination? (Point is that he died 5 years ago but his followers who have proclaimed him a messiah have trouble coming to grips with this) The conference was extremely well organized but quite big and alien with so many people running all over the place. Questions were analytical and it was nice hearing good diction for a few days. There are fissures in the British Jewish community but these are put aside for a few days so that people can just get together to learn; they seemed to accomplish this by following Rule #1 for this conference which was Don't Invite the Rabbis. I noticed ironic griping in the media on the train ride to London: Orthodox rabbis complaining that because the conference promoted pluralism it was not inclusive. Some of the sessions I attended that I thought were interesting: Jewish Life in New Orleans during the Civil War; Genetic Theory Related to the Rise of Modern Orthodoxy; the Jews of Kaifeng China (14th century); South African Jewry today; Liturgical Music of 19th century Germany; Exegesis of the story of David and Batsheva; 25 years since the death of Rabbi Heschel; A Millennia of Illuminated Jewish Manuscripts; Life for One's Grandmother in early 20th century Britain; performances by klezmer band, Greek-Jewish ballad singer, Israeli-Palestinian storytelling troupe; and one-on-one guided study session of classical religious texts (ie: Bible, Talmud). About 20-30 people came from the U.S. but most were presenters and I didn't see anyone there that I recognized except for an in-law from the U.S. who was one of the presenters. I found out about this conference from an article by the publisher of the Jerusalem Report printed in January 1997 saying how great this conference was and that people should go to it. So I went. People there were shocked when I told them I came for that reason. The conference met expectations. 

Thursday and Friday. Christmas I expected everything to shut down. Day after is known as Boxing Day and hardly anyone in Britain knows why it's a holiday. Everything is still shut down and I think the most authoritative answer given to me was it is a holiday because people used to give gifts to their servants and put the boxes away or put them into the mail on the day after Christmas. Anyway, I walked around downtown Manchester and you had all these people walking around in a daze looking for something to do but everything was closed. It was really funny. At least the sun came out on Friday a bit so I could walk around and see daylight. On the television morning show for kids they're singing "Let's Sing Wakie Wakie Wakie Once Again...(to the tune of She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain) -- they actually say Wakie Wakie here tongue in cheek. The radio announcer tells me that new sweater looks really good on me. I like how the announcers on radio and television are sort of companions for people. It's much more alien in the U.S. 

Saturday and Sunday. Finally I can catch late afternoon shop hours and get necessities. $5 gets you 4 AA regular batteries and a small thing of toothpaste. England is expensive for Americans. Phone cards are expensive but calls themselves are quite reasonable. Calling London from Manchester is about 25 cents a minute from a payphone. Sunday I decide to transfer early to London and British tells me the flights are sold out so I hop a train instead of using my ticket for Monday morning; they want 44 pounds one way and 45 pounds round trip. Fortunately, no one asked me any questions on board (I boarded at the last minute) and I wound up going for nothing. It's a 3 hour train ride to central London's Euston Station and it pays to take the train rather than fly as you wind up sitting in one place for the same amount of time you'd be running from airports. Interesting point: The conductor on the train said Attention Gentlemen when we arrived at stations. No reference to ladies. I suppose the idea is that the men are supposed to pay attention and tell their ladies to do whatever. The buffet service on the train was much more advanced than what Amtrak is doing in the U.S. Lots more choices and nicely presented. I spend the evening with a friend; we eat some good meat (all the food at the conference was vege and much rhubarb) but it is salty and I wind up spending half the night drinking water to ward off nausea from dehydration. I called British Airways to tell them I surfaced to London and not to cancel my flight the next day; they told me they weren't sure I could fly since I didn't fly exactly according to my ticket. I don't know whether I was the victim of stupidity or abuse but I can only say that one reason not to like the English is that I can understand what they are saying. A Frenchman or Japanese may be cursing me for all I know but at least I can't understand it. The above story with British Airways (BA) was one of several unhappy encounters I had with BA personnel who, the further up the chain you go, are more interested in telling you what a great airline they are endeavoring to operate than in bending over to assist passengers in tight situations. No doubt I would have made that flight to Manchester even with 10 minutes to spare had I flown Delta and I'd probably rather transfer to a Terminal 1 or 2 flight at Heathrow by arriving in that terminal from a competitor airline than with BA which only arrives transatlantic in Terminal 4 on the other side of the airport. Considering the amount of walking they made me do to catch the bus to Terminal 4 to catch morning connection flights (nearly 10 minute walk and run with luggage) you'd think they would streamline things by having a bus take people right from the plane to Terminal 4. It would shave a good 15 minutes off the connection which is about 50% of the time involved. 

Monday. The best bet is to buy the one day metro pass. I paid 7 pounds and it let me go anywhere on the entire system. It would have been half the price had I started my trip after 9:30 am. Nice thing about the metro here is the electronic signs telling you what train is arriving on that track, where it's going and in how many minutes it will arrive. Unlike Moscow which only has a stopwatch running above the track that tells you how long it's been since the last train departed. The financial area of the city has undergone much renovation over the past 10 years and overall the city looks good. I am running like a maniac to see several people in a 6 hour period. Shopping is not good at this time of year; Oxford Street has post-Christmas sales going on but there are throngs of people; it seemed 5% were young Israelis as I heard Hebrew all over the place. I understand El Al, the Israeli airline, is now selling 1 day shopping sprees to London. One taxi ride cross center city was 20 minutes (no real time savings) and cost 10 pounds. Stick to the subway although you don't see any of the city from underground. I checked in for my return flight from the Gatwick Express terminal at Victoria Station which is a good way to avoid worrying about airport check-in. Lunch with a defense attache to a middle eastern country to survey regional developments; I am being assured that Israel's nuclear capability is quite good and that it is not a bluff. The metro from center city London to Heathrow is about 40-50 minutes depending on where you board but beware trains go only on one track in London; there is no second track so if a train breaks down the whole system goes kaput. Also many trains are looking rather old with wooden floor boards and could use a makeover; I saw some new trains and they are looking fine. Once you arrive at Terminal 4, you get a luggage cart which you can take all the way till you reach the gate and you have this pretty large shopping mall within the departure area. This is better than many airports which don't give you a cart once you pass the x-ray. To get VAT back on departure you need to spend at least 100 pounds at a particular store and you may need a form from the store; there is literature on this and the signs at the airport are clear on this point. No hide and seek as in Argentina. 
 

And so we come to the end of Ivan Ciment's Shake Hands Around The World Tour 1997. 1998 will be a much quieter year. So what has Ivan learned in one paragraph or less? One observation and sorry if you think it's jingoist: The U.S. is coopting many nice innovations that I am seeing abroad. I have tended to think in the past that the U.S. was falling behind as the rest of the world innovated. Not so at this point. There are more interesting desserts and sweet foods going into our supermarkets, for instance. The dollar buys you more of the same item in more places. Over all, the U.S. is learning from the rest of the world, becoming leaner and meaner and reasserting its leadership role in the world from a position of doing things right. The U.S. is increasingly in a position to be the envy of the world, not only because it is strong but because it is doing things right economically and in producing products that people want to buy. I saw optimism in South America, pessimism in Europe, Russia, the Middle East and Asia. South America is probably best poised for growth in the next 5 years because the shakeouts occurred several years ago and the market fundamentals have been put into place and there is a hustle and bustle that has taken root at least in Chile and increasingly Argentina. This is not so in Russia and Asia where there are deep structural deficiencies that are not being fixed; the governments of the Middle East (except for Israel but which will be held back economically until peace and stability is achieved) have not yet joined the 90's mentally and except for a young elite the people haven't either; and Europe is in the midst of grappling with the reforms necessary to make the markets work. But the social dislocations are running up against centuries of culture block. The U.S. stock market may be taking a hit from Asian jitters perceived to be affecting the profitability of U.S. corporations selling goods abroad but the U.S. is fundamentally strong and confident as we enter 1998 and I suspect that when the 4th quarter earnings hit the market it will reveal less damage from Asia than expected and February and March will be good months for U.S. securities. Let us pray.